Disappointment is what you made this.—Face to Face

I think the above quote (from a song) completely describes how I feel about the Chrismukkah episode. Chrismukkah has twice the resistance of a normal holiday, meaning that the episode also has twice the resistance. Despite this, it sucked terribly.

Perhaps if this had been just any other episode, it would have been close to great. But if you are going to do a Chrismukkah episode, it has to be creative and heart-pounding and heart warming and funny. All at once.

1: Kirsten and Sandy

[Quote] “I’m just getting out stockings, menorahs, and yarmulke-claus.”—Kirsten [End Quote]

I really liked these two this week, even though their on screen time was minimal again. It was really important to have Kirsten grieving over Caleb, even if the guy made her last Chrismukkah a disaster and the one before that almost got her fired. The first holiday without a parent has got to be hard. Especially when she has no parents left to celebrate with, or remember with.

Sadly, she doesn’t have that much to remember Caleb by. She has her mother’s ornaments, but all she has is his reaction. Which, let’s face it, weren’t always very thoughtful. If Caleb was still alive, it would have been very interesting what Chrismukkah would have been like, going back to last year.

Moving on, because the show is both lacking anger and much more compassionate with Caleb.

I was very glad to see Sandy supporting Kirsten and every time they were together was not in the least nauseating, as it has been in the past at times. Now, what I can not understand is why they kept saying it was the best Chrismukkah ever. It most certainly wasn’t. Was I just missing something, or were they just delusional?

2: Kirsten and Julie

[Quote] “I told you, Gus! I’m not coming to your Christmas party, even if you are deep-frying a ham.”—Julie [End Quote]

Julie is by far the most entertaining character on the show. Sure, Seth and Summer are sarcastic and witty, but Julie doesn’t even try and she is hilarious. Julie in the short skirt, wife beater, and black bra was priceless. The totally epitome of white trash. Plus, it gives a little insight into what life might have been like for her growing up. Just seeing the way she fits back into that mold so easily is definitely a sign that she has experience.

In the past, I absolutely hated Julie. She tortured Ryan and Marissa, slept with Luke (ew…), and married Caleb. But in the last half of the second season and all of this season, she has seemed more human. This humanity has increased her entertainment factor. And how cool is Gus?

So now on to Kirsten and Julie bonding, which I still love to death. I’m glad that Julie sort of supported Kirsten and was there for her. Although, I’m not sure how much watching NASCAR is showing support, but it is.

What I definitely wasn’t expecting was for Julie and Mr. Roberts (what was his first name? I can’t remember…) to bond as well. It really was a touching moment, where we see that deep down beneath all that makeup and expensive jewelry, there is a mother. This poses the question, though, of where the hell this storyline is going. Is there even a storyline? Are they going to have Summer’s dad get divorced and hook up with Julie? That would definitely be interesting, to say the least. I can’t decide what I want to happen, because if Julie and Mr. Roberts hook up, it would be interesting but predictable. If they are just friends and I’m looking too much into the episode, then that would be just weird.

3: Ryan and Marissa

[Quote] “You said if anyone would understand, it’d be me. You were right. So listen. Sometimes you have to let the rich people help.”—Ryan [End Quote]

Unfortunately, these two keep going in circles. Ever since Marissa started going to Newport Union, Ryan has turned into an insecure wuss and Marissa has been feeding his feelings by constantly blowing him off. Seriously, what happened to the Ryan who didn’t get jealous, just angry? Of course, true to old school Ryan Atwood, he jumped to conclusions after seeing Johnny and Marissa together. Which I do not understand because all they were doing was hugging. Since when does hugging a guy friend become grounds for thinking about her having feelings for someone else?

One has to wonder why the hell Johnny decided to make the exchange in the rich part of Newport. That is just not realistic, considering he doesn’t even live near the diner.

While the fact that the episode relied solely on Johnny for drama was what made it suck, there were a couple of parts that made the episode come close to heart pounding. The first one was when Ryan was looking through Johnny’s stuff. As a side note, to emphasize how tense this scene was, I had to stop watching just as Ryan pulled out the brown paper bag. All day, I was dying to know what was in that bag.

I think everyone can agree that the scene where Johnny was going to rob the store was very tense as well. Let’s just hope that Johnny doesn’t ever have to actually resort to robbing as store, because he is so not discreet.

I can not wait until after the break. Kaitlin is coming back, which I have been waiting for all season. She will be a great addition to the show. And, with Marissa hopefully getting back into Harbor, Johnny will no longer be a big part of the show. Hallelujah.

4: Seth and Summer

[Quote] “My Chrismukkah forecast calls for trouble.”—Seth [End Quote]

Finally, we find out more about Summer’s mom! It only took the writers three years… I was really surprised to find out that she left only four or five years ago; I always imagined she would have left when Summer was really little. Anyway, I hope this is paving the way for us to find out even more. Maybe even run into Ms. Roberts later in the future.

As much as I love Summer and all her hilarity, the scene in the diner with her trying to save Chrismukkah was pitiful. Especially when she hit her head and said “STU-PID!” It was like that scene where she stood in the hallway asking if anyone knew what a quagmire was. A little too much.

There really wasn’t a whole lot of Seth and Summer time, but when they were on screen, it was cute and fun to watch. They are always a nice relief from the rest of the show.

5: The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah

Yes, it gets its own little section. I was going to put it under Random Thoughts, but that would make them longer than the rest of the editorial.

Let me just start off by saying how disappointed I was that we didn’t get to see Ryan chant. It would have been more entertaining than anything else this show has ever done, simply because watching Gentiles attempt to read Hebrew is highly amusing.

There is no way hell that Ryan was able to learn his parasha (portion) in a single night. I went to Hebrew school for three years, followed by one year of Torah study and eight months of practicing for the big day specifically. He would have had to learn Hebrew, which is complicated enough with the whole reading backwards and the vowels and all the rules that apply. Then, he would have had to learn the tropes, which are the symbols that tell you where your voice should go. And, technically, you are supposed to read the portions from stam, which is without the vowels or tropes. That is how it is in the Torah.

Sorry for the rambling… I know it is just a television show, but they should have made it over like a week, not one night. If they were going to have Sandy get all technical and religious all of a sudden, they should have made the rest of it technical as well.

I loved that little part, where Sandy reverts to the Orthodox Jew that he really isn’t. What, no tefillin? (Tefillin is the wrapping you do of your hands and around your forehead. It has that little box? Yeah, it’s only done by Orthodox Jews now.) It was also very smart of Josh to include this part though. Some people are bound to be upset about them taking a bar mitzvah so lightly.

I was really depressed when they had Seth watching his bar mitzvah party video. I remember my bat mitzvah party and, aside from the fact that I came down with strep throat as the party progressed, it was the best day of my life. Although, I had no idea that “That’s What Friends are For” was a staple at any b’nai (plural for bar or bat) mitzvahs. I went to one every other weekend and it was never once played….

Anyway, I totally digressed. It really hit me hard that no one came to his party. What hit me even harder was when Summer realized she had not been allowed to go Luke’s party because she had RSVP’d to Seth’s party. I gained some much needed respect for Mr. Roberts.

This concludes my random rambling of Jewishness thoughts.

Rating: 8 out of 10. I know I said it sucked terribly, but that is only because it was a Chrismukkah episode. Any other episode with similar plot lines would have probably been a 9. But I expected more from Josh.

Random Thoughts to End With:

Finally, the show acknowledges that Ryan always does the right thing.

How ironic was it that the store Johnny was going to rob had that “We Card under 18” sign, and then Ryan walked in and bought a pack of Marlboros?

If Johnny’s injury is that bad, how is he walking around on his leg two weeks later?

Was that the last episode of Reunion??????? I am going to freak out. I realized it was probably the last one just as it ended. What am I going to do without my Reunion? They are just going to end it like that? It better be brought back during the summer or something.

I have officially been obsessed with The O.C. for one year. Shh, don’t tell anyone, but I didn’t become obsessed until last year during winter break. That’s when I went out and bought the first season on DVD and watched it for hours straight.

I hope everyone has a Merry Chrismukkah. Or, technically, Merry Chrisma-hanna-kwanza-kah. (Say that three times fast.) And a happy New Year. Don’t die over the next three weeks.

--Jenni

Comments, suggestions, or simply a desire to fill up my inbox? Email me at perfectionisty@gmail.com.